Having sex can be like going to the gym. Your mind and body rebels against it, but once you've done it, you feel amazing. The standard wisdom says a woman's sexual cycle moves from desire to arousal to orgasm. But new research suggests that for women in long-term relationships, desire often comes after arousal. So instead of listening to the little voice that whispers "Sleep, need sleep", be receptive to your lover's touch.

"Your brain will focus on any pleasure that is occurring and increase blood flow to the area," Dr Morrissey says. "Even if it's just a quickie and you don't orgasm, sex bio-chemically releases endorphins, the chemicals that get us revved up and make us want to have more sex, more often."

You can even kick-start your own arousal to get yourself in the mood. "Tensing your PC muscles - that's the sling of muscles supporting the pelvic floor and surrounding your genital organs - stimulates the first part of the arousal process," Dr Morrissey says.

BY

Lollie Barr 

Freelance Journalist

(http://www.bodyandsoul.com.au/sex+relationships/wellbeing/secret+to+good+sex+is+in+your+mind,9155 )